If only during the time I AM blogging.
I remember back when I was new at blogging I had a hard time doing my posts. First, I didn't know how to get around blogger - it's first version.
At my age, I thought I was being stupid. This is for young people who mostly use the medium to hyperventilate. I was too old for this. Again, I thought.
But today, I have several blogs, essentially about things I had just wanted to offload my chest. Things that may seem unimportant or trivial to others. But hey, why would I allow that to bother me? My blog is my own little private space. Passers by are just that -- passing through. If they find my writing so-so then what can I do?
Blogging is my way of fighting my hypertension. I am usually lost out there when I blog. And I feel good about it.
Specifically, my blogs were about my angsts, my fears, my dreams and my hopes which I couldn't have verbally expressed because people I love might get hurt. Ideas that could prove silly at the least. Or notions that could trigger disagreements when openly declared. My take was to just rant off what I felt through my blogs. I didn't have to please anyone. Just blog away whatever it was that needed to be said but couldn't be expressed.
And it has done me a lot of good.
Blogging allowed me the freedom to be away from the 'real' world. Meaning from the problems of the real world. I am sick and here, trying desperately to get better.I have been reading up on wellness -- how to have inner peace, learning the techniques of chilling out or zapping free, etc., despite the nagging thought of death.
I don't dwell on the problems anymore, since I started blogging actively, meaning, now, I have a couple of people reading what I have to say.
Thanks guys! You have no idea how good you all make me feel.
The thing is I used to indulge in many negative thoughts. But I found out that it doesn't help me any.
At this point, I believe the why's have been answered, it's just a matter of perfecting the how.
Thanks to blogging.