One of the better things I discovered from being hypertensive is learning to deal with my anger. My life used to be so stressful that certain issues were usually accompanied with argument marathons between family members. Looking back, this perhaps aggravated my illness unknowing at that time I had it. Fact is, indulging anger didn’t help me. And it won’t. Not on days that the market vendor was trying to dupe me or salon manager who’s playing smart with our business finances. Not the help who wasted a good amount of money burning some piece of poultry in the oven.
Here’s the deal - do the exact opposite of what you want to do when you are angry.
While you may think that lashing out or breaking a couple of your wine glasses help. It doesn’t. You don’t release the tension by swearing or slurring others. You are actually just nourishing your aggression. Uncontrolled anger allow unhealthy behavior to thrive and escalate tension.
But this doesn’t mean however, that you need to suffer by holding on to that anger.
Easier said than done. I know. But it takes practice, really.
For me, it was and remains an emotional skill that I needed to develop and so just like any skill, it needs to be practiced. What’s important is you know you are angry. For whatever reason, the anger needs to be acknowledged. Denying it is a killer.
When I finally decided that I will not allow anyone to have control over me, I made a conscious effort to ignore situations that cause my displeasure. In the first place, my doctor told me that withholding anger can work as much against my plan to heal. (“Anger has been shown to lead a higher incidence of heart disease”)
Dealing with it, meant that I had to develop behavior patterns that do not exacerbate and instead reduce enmity or annoyance on my part. What I did was to start listing down all the emotions I feel -- and why on a daily basis. This seriously helped me identify the REALl reasons why I get inflamed. And I realized that lying, lack of sincerity, insults, disrespectful attitudes get my goat. It throws me off even on a better day. Understanding the underlying cause enabled me to work out a plan to unruffle my ruffles. J
I learned to work out my anger by walking out of my ‘adversary’. At first it was very difficult. I am no saint but whenever I am about to lose control I go out and take a very long walk. Walking eased my tension. I also tried deep breathing. I make a very, very conscious effort to hold my horses, so to speak, hold my tongue to avoid blurting out accusing words.
I know easier said than done. Precisely, it needs practice.
Most important lesson learned, I don’t blame myself anymore for things not working out according to plan nor blame others for things that are also run out of their control. The mantra is PRACTICE. It makes perfect.