Hypertension Mantra

Today is my father's birthday. He would have been 82. He passed away in 1995. He wasn't sick or anything. He just had his cataract removed from the local veteran's hospital. The first operation was successful but the 2nd proved fatal. We suspect that he died of anaesthesia overdose. He never woke up from the operation. It is still painful to remember the circumstances surrounding his death so I would not go there anymore. I don't want to get depressed. So cheers! It is enough to say that we were able to completely resolve all the issues between us a year before his death. Part of my emotional anxieties back when I was younger stemmed from my poor relationship with him. And when everything turned out well, I know that made him very happy. And so was I. Happy Birthday Pa. I Love You!

When I was 8 years old I had a dog named Blackie because he was black all over. That's why. Ha!Ha! He didn't really have a pedigree, just plain and simple mongrel , a street dog , if you like. But I came to love him so much because he was such a playful and loving dog. We were together for two years. At that time, we were living in a neighborhood infested with drunks. Every time Blackie and I went for an errand these beer junkies would tease me by saying they like my dog very much. I didn't realize that they had other plans for him. And then one day, Blackie suddenly disappeared. We looked all over but could not find him. My mother realizing what happened told me that perhaps Blackie was feasted on by the junkies. These sons of their mothers casually did this sort of thing with the animals around the community. It was a devastating. I was horrified and couldn't stop crying for a week. Coming from that experience, I don't remember ever owning a dog again. And why am

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Since 5 or 6 years ago, I thought I didn't know anything about cooking . My illness changed all of that. (You see, all my female relatives were all good cooks. Good in the sense that they can cook for two or two hundred - without a whimper.) Today, I can whip up anything-- well not everything. I can cook, a lot of Filipino dishes, a few Chinese, several Thai, perhaps, a dozen of Italian. That' it. I can bake, do salads and juice drinks --- and everything the healthy way. To completely heal my body was essential but more important was to heal my mind and my soul as well. Healing entails surrendering one's self to the workings of the universe. Heal then to the Queen. Am I being funny? This seems to be one of my "up" days. Cheers!

My daily ritual is to cook our meals, clean the house, and do some laundry. In fact it has somehow made me an 'expert' on cooking with herbs, clothing detergents - which works best and which don't; which can dry your hands, etc. Focusing my mind on these seemingly trivial things takes a lot of unproductive things from my head. I choose to recall a one liner wizmo, "Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy, but gets you nowhere".

Reading is helping me heal . Whether "hard reading" or online, reading has brought me to places I've never been, showed me things I would otherwise not have known, taught me lessons which would have taken me an inordinate amount of time to learn. Reading allowed me to feel emotions that saved both my body and spirit from the doldrums of self-pity.

The way to healing is to treat and care for yourself well. There is no one who can do that better but you. And so my mantra today is 'I will treat myself well. I will care for myself better. I will treat myself well. I will care for myself better'. ooooohhhhhmmmmm ... ooooohhhhhmmmmm ... ooooohhhhhmmmmm ... ooooohhhhhmmmmm...